There are a lot of myths around sexual activity, one being that your first time having sex will hurt. Others may include oral stimulation, fingering or handjobs, or anal penetration in their definition. Your definition could also include stimulation or penetration with a sex toy. Regardless of the type of sexual activities you want to try, there are a few general tips or rules you can use to make your first sexual experience more comfortable.

Further information

Think about whether you're ready
At one point or another, I promise you that everyone has felt the way you do—and your feelings are completely normal, valid, and fair. TL;DR: Everyone has pre-sex jitters no matter how much chill they seem to have, and honestly, you should totally embrace the awkwardness. But just so you can make your first time as pleasurable as possible, here are some tips from sex therapist Vanessa Marin and psychotherapist Nicole Tammelleo. Talking about sex with a new partner is a must.
1. Communicate what you want.
Ah, virginity. We're told that that it should only be with someone special. All of that, I say, is total crap. Teenagers in particular spread a lot of stories about what the first time is like, the most common I think being the aforementioned bleeding and pain. I know that I was terrified of vaginal intercourse before I did it, convinced that it was going to be this painful, traumatic experience. In the end, I barely even noticed when my high school boyfriend finally got it in. But every first time is different, of course, even for the two or, in some special cases, more than two people involved. Even the definition of first time can be different, with some folks counting oral sex or digital penetration as the time they lost their virginity. I was curious to find out what different women experienced for their first time, so I asked around and came back with eight really different answers.
Find out more about cookies and your privacy in our policy. ReachOut are running a new wave of recruitment for research about our users and want to hear from you! Tell me more. Deciding to have sex for the first time is a pretty big deal.